The day started as normal, we had moved two new drilling rigs near to the customers site and parked them up on their respective lorries for the night, the accommodation units, generator units, and peripherals were also there along with two of our drivers who stayed with them all for the night. Everything was going to plan apart from a small change which saw me have my old AEC Militant loaded onto a trailer and taken up there earlier that morning as the last part of our journey involved crossing a field, and the weather was unpredictable, so the Militant could be used to give the Scania's an extra pull as they weighed 157 tonnes and 143 tonnes respectively.
We left with a crew at 6am and arrived at around 7.30 am in our L200's with the crew and an assembly team as well as our drivers, and we checked the lorries and off we set for the last 2 miles of our journey, then down a rough farm track and across a field to the site where they were going to be located and assembled, all was going well; and one of my employees even found a food wagon and promptly ordered breakfast cobs for us all. The convoy rolled off and entered the farm lane, the Milly was unloaded and set off first, the lane was firm and solid, the first Scania engaged all three of its rear axles, and its front axle into drive and followed with its 157 tonne load in crawler gear, the second followed, all was still going fine as the rest of the fleet followed with no problems. The farmer who owned the land met us and said his tractor was on hand if necessary, but the fiels was filled with grass 6-7' high as he had left it since he agreed for our client to drill on his land, but as it hadn't rained the field was firm and solid with none of the usual slippery spots it gets when it rains, so all was still well.
I took charge of the first truck and checked the Scania's systems were all engaged, they were, I engaged crawler gear and locked it in gear (its automatic transmission) and locked its locking diffs and set off into the field, with the grass so high visibility was impaired, then it all happened in a flash (pun intended) from nowhere a naked girl appeared and fled closely followed by a naked youth and his flag was flying at full mast, as they fled I stopped the truck and got out. As i fought my way through the grass I noticed several male and female garments wrapped around the nearside front wheel and two of the three rear wheelsets were perched on a tartan car rug (do they still make those) and a bra was hanging from the front suspension.
After examining the surrounding ground we concluded that I hadn't run anyone over while in the throws of passion as there was no blood or limbs present, thank god for that; or should thet be what a way to go.
Searches were made by several members of the team but the couple were nowhere to be found, then the bravado began "if you had got that front wheel on his backside boss he would have bottomed it" and other such comments were made, so the moral of the story is IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR LEG OVER IN A REMOTE OR ISOLATED FIELD, THEN STICK NEXT TO THE HEDGE, at least you won't have a Scania with 157 tonnes sneak up on you in the long grass.
And people wonder why I am surprised by nothing these days, I may not have seen it all but I must be getting mighty close.